Apple pie among the VEGEMITE...read on...

We started the evening with McDonalds (hey it’s cheap) and free Stella’s from the hostel (My kind of establishment). Moving on...

Remember the Australians I told you about before? Here's where they come into the story again...Well one of them, dubbed Uncle Tony, was our tour guide for the night. The other one didn't make it to the bars because he was too drunk from watching a rugby game earlier that day. Oh and Uncle Tony didn’t actually go by Uncle Tony, but the name suited him and his many tattoo’s well. We also made friend with Beth, a crazy girl from Michigan who had just finished 3 weeks of organic farming and is trolling Europe alone aaand Macarena from Argentina. We later found out it was Macarena's 6 year anniversary with her 40 year old b/f in Argentina. She's 22. You do the math.

We started at the Walkabout Bar where the floor was so sticky we could hardly move. About two minutes after we got there I found a 20 pence piece on the ground and some drunk bloke licked my face. We're talking his tongue, my face, chin to forehead. I already knew it was gonna be a great night.

We enjoyed some BOMB English cider and rocked out to the live band playing everything from Oasis to B*Witched (C'est la vie!! wheeee) SEE BELOW:

UNCLE TONY,
the strapping albeit leathery gentleman in the pic. you can't see his tats sadly.

You know you want us.

The British people sound oh so charming with their accents and polite demeanor, but don’t let it fool you they are dirty chaps. One Brit in particular, a short nerdy looking guy came up to me and said in a very proper British accent “Good evening, lovely to meet you. Did you know you happen to have very big boobies?” Umm, no really? I hadn’t noticed. And he could at least have said "nice" instead of "big". Sheesh. I brushed him off and turned back to my friends. 5 minutes later I feel a tap on my shoulder “Could I fancy a grab of one of your boobies?” Umm, NO. I have not nearly had enough to drink at this point (kiddinggggg). That's just weird. Another 5 minutes later he comes into my peripheral vision and I see him ACTUALLY try and grab my chest. WTF. I already said you couldn’t fancy a grab! Luckily my Jedi quick reaction time managed to swat him away and refill my cider from the very drunk rugby player sharing his pitcher on my other side. Qui-gon Kim doesn’t miss a thing…

The Walkabout!
(Boobie bandit in the blue striped shirt looking down)

We then met an Australian and some guy from Bermuda (We called him Bermuda. Clever eh?) and moved from the “Walkabout bar”(without grabby mcgee) to the “The Red Back Bar" another Australian haunt. We hardly knew these fellows but Beth seemed to be getting to know one of them REALLY well, so our motley crew followed. We definitely didn't expect the bus ride to be the best part.

We all get in the double decker and Kyndal and I snag seats. About 2 stops later a charming little black man in a suit with a blue bag ascends the stairs, making friends with everyone. He sits down innocently...then the fun begins. Our Aussie friend starts singing and the new charming friend starts singing along and telling us his stories. He was taking requests for songs and naturally we request Michael JAckson. "No, i can't sing Michael. It'll make me cry...it'll make me cry" The Aussie starts the first few lines of Billie Jean and he beings to sing along..then gets weepy "You know, I used to work with Michael. We used to WORK together. I can't sing michael or I'll cry". He then opens the blue bag and begins to drink a suspicious substance. I think it's gasoline...he swore it was apple juice. He was starting to get rowdy again and luckily it was our stop. I've never seen eyes so glazed over like his.

His outfit made it. he looked so put together:

We finally get to to Redback bar (which is apparently in the boonies). Their specialty is a snake bite (different kinds of ciders, beer and booze mixed together) and oodles of attractive Australians. This was a pretty BAR scene, with a band. But for some reason this group of people decided to roll E and wear Monsters Inc and other costumes made for toddlers. They were jumping around the dance floor awkwardly..but I'm pretty sure I saw all of them cosutmed people making out with plain clothed people by the end of the night. Maybe they were wizards who didn't understand how to dress like muggles? Maybe?

Schwarma and Sully

Christy's other dancing partner.
She was one tall drink of water.

Please disregard my skanky ass expression and look at christy in the background.
The girl is LOVING the song.

The night ended with SCHWARMA right by our hostel. Uncle Tony led us RIGHT to it. What a dollface. Now it all makes sense why we booked it there. I even let the AIDS infested blanket at the foot of my bed touch my feet I was in such a good mood.

Good nights always end with the schwarms, Australians and Uncle TONY!